Am I the only person that didn’t realize they were a procrastinator and or a quitter until they were a grown adult? I’d like to say all through school I didn’t have this problem but the truth is I just didn’t realize I was doing it. A lot of nights I think about my day and why I didn’t get more done only to realize I’m constantly putting things off until I talk myself out of actually doing it. It’s Not because I’m just dreading doing it. Mostly because I’m lazy or just not quite sure how to do something so I’ll put it off until the last minute only to finally do it and it not even be that bad.
Here is a list of things I did today instead of typing this post: dishes twice, starting two loads of laundry, making cookie batter, hours later cooking said batter, coloring My Little Pony pictures, vacuuming my entire second floor, popping zits, sweeping my kitchen, making a list of post ideas, making my bed, making all three of my kids beds and don’t even get me started with Instagram.
I’m giving myself a due date of Tuesday for blog posts. It’s Tuesday at 8 pm and here I am finally sitting down to write it. I literally had a week to sit down and just type but do you know why I subconsciously didn’t? Because I hate writing and typing. I have no confidence in my writing skills. I often will type out a comment on social media only to erase it in fear that I’m somehow writing or spelling something wrong. I’d rather not write something at all then be wrong. So why then are you starting a blog Kandice?
Well I want to work on the areas of myself that I feel lacking so I can be a well-rounded person. A little challenge per say. Stepping out of my comfort zone and making myself do things that scare me. Just so you know, right now in my mind I’m trying to justify stopping this and folding laundry instead. Like, I have a strong urge right now to fold 4 loads for laundry, no one wants to do that. But it seems infinitely easier than trying to write a short simple post.
So with that, I am going to continue to find ways to scare myself until I’m more comfortable with writing and being in front of a camera. At some point it’s got to get easier, right?
I was going to say sorry, this post (or really entire blog) has no organization or focus but I’m also working on unapologetically being me. So yes I have no idea where this is going and it’s something I’m working on. 🙂